that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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