Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
