what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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