pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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