There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
