This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
