talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
