Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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