Umm I'm too high to move.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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