It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
