I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
she told me i tasted like america
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
