I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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