and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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