i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
