I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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