break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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