I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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