They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
