if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
The best revenge is premature balding
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Randomize
