Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I need a beard to bite.
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