I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
