U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
