Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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