I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Randomize
