That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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