oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
