but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
