You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
