lets start a swedish sibling band together
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
