I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
