I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
