Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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