apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
