If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
