Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
