I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
