Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
