Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
