the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
