So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
