FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
