What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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