Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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