A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
