I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I lost the right to judge tonight
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
