She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
