I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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