Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
