who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
