Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
