Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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