I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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